Thursday, March 05, 2009

Groin Pullin' For Fun And Sophistry...

It may have been grief or guilt or most likely kindness that spurred my brother to offer his Mum the use of his very sporty and quite exceptionally well-made recumbent exercise bike.

We brought it back up to Oregon after my sister's memorial, along with an elliptical StairMaster machine my sister had. Medicare won't continually pay for Mum's rehabilitation, so we've taken matters into our own hands and moved the table against the wall in our great room, so that we've got room for a little mini-gym that Mum can use to get herself stronger.

I've never been one to sit on a stationary anything and exercise before, as the outdoors is far more preferential, but we've had some good bouts of rain lately coupled with some pretty cold temperatures, so to get my exercise fix I climbed aboard Mum's recumbent and set the dials for "as hard as possible" and proceeded to peddle in place- with a handy fan blowing in my sweating face- for the entire two hours of American Idol last week.

The trouble is/was, a recumbent uses slightly different muscles in its motion than a regular bicycle. The added inclination means you lift your thigh up higher toward your chest than on a regular bicycle. So while two hours on a regular bike was just a workout, two hours on the recumbent was a "new event" for some tiny muscles you forget you have that dwell normally quiet down there amongst the jewels and stuff.

I was so sore I worried I had herniated something, and did my usual research to better understand the mechanics of the situation.

Oh Lordy!

I found a new disease!

I bumped into this little diagram in my googling, and realized that I'd found the best motivating image and/or syndrome possible.

Hell, why exercise for vanity's sake? Why exercise for blood pressure or joint relief? Why exercise to increase endorphins or to otherwise just feel better?



Jeannie said...

That should be posted in beer stores everywhere.

Mind you warnings on cigarettes never did any good.

Cheesy said...

oh my gawd.. LMAO

writtenwyrdd said...

For some reason this diagram reminds me of the warning photos on canadian cigarette packages. Things like pictures of lip cancer and whatnot.

And I must say I bust up laughing when I saw this, Scott.

meno said...

Looks like a geoduck.

i have a recumbent bike that i use a couple a times a week. Now i'm looking for my penis.

kario said...

Uhh, thanks for the public health announcement?