Sunday, June 25, 2006

Harder, Faster... I'm A Kawasaki



About twenty Harvest moons ago (give or take a crescent) I was living in Queensland, Australia just north of Cairns on the beach in an in-and-out situation, meaning I was coming and going, off and on give or take...

Now in those days, Australia and Japan had set up an exchange program, with one year visas handed out like bus passes and a lot of Australians were going to Japan (where I met my house-owning roomate) and visa versa...

Since I had been living in Japan prior to this, I had learned enough spoken Japanese to have rudimentary conversations, which made me an asset to those Japanese coming to Cairns who didn't speak English much, no how...

One of these not so fluent, was a Japanese girl whose name was Aima Kawasaki. And yes, in English it sounds just like "I'm a Kawasaki".

Now Aima was "endowed" in an unusual Asian fashion, which made her an instant celebrity amongst the local Australian boys. She had learned to smile and bat her eyes when all else failed, making her a unique subject for language testing, of which I was (I admit it!) a big participant of...

When in need of another beer from a keg, I told Aima the proper expression was "harder, faster..."

She asked me if she should say "please", and I told her this was highly unnecesary in this case.

When needing to find a rest room, "tinkle palace" was the polite way to say little girl's room.

"Oh baby, oh baby..." is what you said when a waiter asked if there would be anything else...

And "Shazam!" was an acceptable swear word for all minor bumps and bruises...

Now Aima had a small Kawasaki enduro motorcycle that she scooted around on. Being in the tropics, she wore shorts and no helmet when she rode, which was good for the local tourism industry, but not so good for Aima when she was rudely interrupted in an intersection, spilling her bike and taking a layer of outer calf and thigh in the manner of most mild road rashes...

"Shazam!" she kept yelling as English only speakers surrounded her to help her. "Shazam shazam shazam!"

I got a call from the local cop who had been handed my number from AIma. He asked me to come down and help sort out this mess, as Aima was acting a bit "like she took a bump to her noggin", and the cop wasn't sure whether to call an ambulance.

I went, and this is what the confusion was. The cop kept asking Aima if there was anything she needed. She kept answering "Oh baby! Oh baby!"

He kept asking her "Where you want to go?"

"Tinkle Palace."

He kept trying to get her name. "Aima Kawasaki!"

No no no, I finally explained, HER NAME is Aima Kawasaki..."

1 comment:

Ross said...

that is freakin hiliarious
you evil, evil, but hilarious man

lol

having dated perhaps more than my fair share of japanese girls i can hear that japanese accent enhanced, broken english in my head as you describe it in the story

classic!!