Monday, February 23, 2009

Hawk Damn And Pool Q's...

Today was Mum's first "unescorted" work-out session at the physical therapist's office. I've mentioned that they have a small indoor pool- heated nicely- for people to do pool therapy in.

Oh lordy!

I was tellin' Mum on the way there that they put that "no pee" chemical in the pool, the one that turns your pee the color of blood if you "do it" in their pool. There's a little plastic shark that gets activated by the red-colored water and swims to the source to take a sharp little plastic shark bite out of whoever did the peeing...

The look on Mum's face was priceless, as she worried horribly about her dribbles...

We got her suited up and in the water. It turns out that she's super-buoyant, meaning she had trouble setting her feet to grip the bottom for walking because they kept floating upward while her head rolled back and into the water...

Hmmm... ?

My sweatshirt sleeves were getting wet leaning over and retrieving her from her drowning position and I told her "I'm gonna throw a noose around your neck and pull you up that way if'n you don't stop making me lean over this pool rail..."

Since we were "unescorted" it was up to me to keep her safe and give her exercises to do, but I couldn't do anything more than just lean way over and get wet up to my short sleeved t-shirt I had on underneath...

One of the PT assistants who loves to chatter about American Idol with Mum and I offered to loan me a pair of "loaner shorts", and the next thing you know I've got camel toe in cotton swim trunks far too small for me, wishing my six-pack belly would stay put where I sucked it in, and hoping the backside stayed intact while I climbed in over the side and into the suspiciously warm pool water.

I spent the hour in the pool with Mum, marveling at how well she floated, getting her to do lots and lots of exercises while thankful there was lots of chlorine in the pool with me and all of the multitude of elderly people who had used the pool to get over their incontinence issues...

Mum thought the whole hour was super-duper and was already talking about her next visit as we got out and got dried off and dressed...

"You're gonna be like those obese football players who go into Chinese restaurants during their all-you-can-eat buffets, Momma..." I warned her. "They're gonna have to start locking the front door when they see you coming..."

On the way home, I took the backroad because I often see cool shit back there. We came upon a hawk who hung out right next to the road and tried to stare us down and keep us away from whatever it was eating. By the time I got my camera out and the zoom in and the window down, the hawk decided to fly about twenty feet away and wait us out.

But for thirty seconds, he was ten feet from the truck, giving us the hawk eye while I fumbled with the camera and managed to get one bad picture from both places...

4 comments:

Cheesy said...

One of the things I love about driving around our cool state... the hawks. But it is a pain when you are the one driving and trying to stop fast enough to get the pic..lol.. I have missed some great shots. Glad you got one!

Jeannie said...

Your Mum has great fingernails! I'm jealous.

Better take your own swimsuit with you - any way to incorporate a little bit of work out for you too? Would ankle weights help your Mum keep her feet down ya think?

Shrinky said...

You are a wonderful son. SO much love there between the pair of you. I am glad she is working well towards recovery.

That hawk, what a sight to share on the way home!

writtenwyrdd said...

This made me smile and laugh. I am glad that you can maintain a good attitude, because this sort of caretaking can be stressful for both of you.