Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Bear In The Road, The Bear In The River, And Lots And Lots Of Licks And Naked People--

I took the back way into town to pick up my repaired computer, and thought I was coming upon a large black dog in the middle of the road (coincidentally, this was very near the spot I found my young rugrat dog Waldo). As I slowed to allow the big furry dog to run off to the side of the road, I remarked to myself (nobody in the car with me) how he looked just like a dog of long ago- a big, monstrous Newfoundland Rottweiler monster-dog.

He turned out to be a bear.

I pulled up next to him and began telling him how he was close to the California border, and how California was where all the nuts were, and this seemed to intrigue him enough to pause and give thought to what I was saying. Meanwhile, I was fishing with my right hand down on the floor of the truck, grabbing my camera and setting it up to shoot some shots.

"Nuts?" I imagined him saying. "In California?"

I got these pictures before he decided I was lying about the nuts, whereby he turned and did a bear-like skedaddle right up the side of a steep and forested hillside.

It reminded me of a dog, and a story, from long ago.

A friend of mine and I took a beat up old inflatable Tahiti on a four day kayaking trip down the Eel river in the early summertime. What this meant was that the river was mostly wide and shallow, and walking in wet tennis shoes and dragging the rubber kayak was more the norm than the exception.

Every now and then, we would come upon a bear drinking along the riverbank, and it would skedaddle up the embankments, and leave us be.

Bear skat was all over the place, but the black bears like this one seemed to be more afraid of us than the other way around.

On day four, nearing civilization once again, we came around a bend in the river (blissfully being swept down stream by a current) and there was one of these bears standing in the middle of the river, staring up at us, not budging while we floated down straight for it.

The current was like a conveyor belt, leading us right into the bear's evil darkness, and no amount of back paddling was going to save us.

"Crap!" I thought. "The river is going to feed us to a bear."

And as suddenly as I thought my life was over, naked hairy hippy people began standing and walking toward us. They were like furry and hairy angels, or fuzzy and curly zombies, or naked and smelly hippies, all standing and walking toward my friend and I, while the bear stood its ground in the middle of the river.

As my near-sightedness cleared, the bear became a giant dog, belonging to a bunch of communal hippies who lived and worked nearby.

The fear of being mauled and eaten by a bear was replaced by lots of nudity and licking.

12 comments:

Dogbait said...

A few years back, we were heading towards Portland along the 101 near Yachats and we came across two bears sitting in the middle of the highway. One black and one brown bear and they took off along a minor side road and we followed.

Around a corner we came and they were again sitting on the road with us parked in front of them.

I realised the cameras were in the boot and said to MP, "Quick, jump out and grab the camera"

I won't print here what she told me!

Our friends in Portland still think we were smoking something illegal!

Jeannie said...

There is someone in my neighborhood that has a dog that really looks like a young bear. I used to know its breed but can't remember. Not anything like a Newfy or rottweiler.

Cheesy said...

Naked hairy hippy people are usualy vegans so sounds like you were safe on that day from being mauled and eaten! Well eaten anyhow....

Mushy said...

Thanks for sharing those shots!

meno said...

I love a happy ending!

Cool pictures of the bear.

Kylie ... said...

I never come across something as exciting as a bear when I'm driving. And if I did, while I was rummaging around for my camera the bear would more than likely eat me.

Great photos!

Anne said...

Aren't bears supposed to be hibernating at this time of year?

Billy said...

Very interesting (and I thought you'd never get around to the naked people LOL).

amusing said...

so the naked hippy people starting licking you? Wouldn't it have been preferable to be eaten by a bear?

CS said...

I'm not sure I want a bunch of naked hippies licking me.

Cool bear photos, though. We have black bears here in the mountains, occassionally wandering into town.

Stucco said...

You spread peanut butter all over yourself, and the bear'd probably lick you...

Computer fixed up? Did it need parts?

Bernita said...

Great photos.
He looks very healthy.