Another Short Story Frothing To The Surface. (Yes, I know Mike had his truck stolen!)

--GUILTY AS HELL--


Officer, there has been a huge mistake.

I didn’t do anything. I was merely following my own curiosity. Really. I mean, the cat? You’ve heard about what it did to the cat?

There ya go.

No no no no! You’ve just turned it around! I told you how the blood got there. I was checking for a pulse!

No, I am not a doctor. I watch a lot of television. Checking for a pulse? I mean, c’mon! It’s not rocket science, now is it?

She was dead, yes. Her arms were cool and stiff, yes. I know she was pretty! Damn! I saw what you saw!

Again?

But I just went through this with you guys.

Again? Why? So you can see if my story changes?

Like I said. I watch a lot of TV.

There was this guy who walked by the restaurant I work at every night. Yeah. Mid-twenties black guy. Dark black. Real black. Walking fast like he had someplace to go. He was always very straight up and down and his arms swung in big hurried arcs and his legs were churning like he was marching, only even faster. He wasn’t like those fast walking old ladies, though. They all pivoted mostly in the hips and ass, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like they were hurryin’ to poop, is what they look like.

Yeah, I know. I wouldn’t let my Momma do that in public either.

But this guy always had his eyes wide and his forehead a bit wrinkled and no smile or expression on his mouth, at all. He just walked really fast by our restaurant every night, sometimes coming back for a second or third time around.

Yeah, it was weird. I figured it for drugs. Something crankin’ him up that needed walking off, which I don’t understand. I mean, why take something that makes you go out on the streets and walk like crazy, just because, you know?

No. Just beer and the occasional glass of wine. I can’t even drink the hard stuff because it makes my head spin. Yeah, I know. But as a bartender, you see drunk all the time and believe me, there is no fun in drunk, on the inside or from the outside.

About four months. Yeah. He may have been there longer but about four months ago I noticed. Yeah. I mean, after seeing him every night for almost a week, I started looking for him. I have a window always open to the outside down at the end of the bar. It’s dark down there, so I can see out into the night down there. I go there to stare out when the drunks start to get to me. I mean, humans, you know? They can really get to you after awhile if you watch them from my side of things.

Once. About six weeks ago. He came in late at night and just stood near the front door. He was staring back toward the kitchen door like he was a feral cat waiting for tossed food scraps or something. His eyes were wide open and his forehead was wrinkled a bit, but there was no expression on his mouth.

We let him just stand there. He wasn’t doing anything but standing there- it was kind of freaky- and I was washing glasses and the few customers we still had were either drunk or swapping spit in dark corners. Nobody really noticed him much but me.

Yeah. The cat, remember? I’m like that, I’ve already told you.

Then he did something really weird. I mean, it wasn’t weird unless it came from him, you know? Like if you did it, it wouldn’t have been weird, but the way this guy is, this was weird. He just pivoted a little on the balls of his feet and looked at me. Yeah. It kind of freaked me out. And that was when I noticed the six inch slag of drool he had hanging down from his mouth. Yeah. He was drooling like a dog, man! And his eyes were big and his forehead was wrinkled and there was no expression at all on his mouth, man. Just a big slag of drool that got longer and longer.

I just stared at him and he stared at me. His face never changed and he didn’t hardly move, at all, and I started wondering how long that drool was going to hang there before it broke off and fell? I kept looking into his eyes to see if I could tell what he was thinking. He sure was black, man. Yeah. Real black.

No, I don’t have a problem with blacks, man. You’re black. Except for the fact that you’ve got me in this room, I don’t have a problem with you. You seem like a good man, that’s all I notice or think about.

Sure, I noticed that you are black. I mean, what do you think? I’m not color-blind. I’m just saying that your skin color makes no difference to me in how I view you as a human being.

Because he was black! Dark black! Scary black, man! You should have seen him! He kept his eyes wide which made the whites stand out around them. It was freaky, man. That’s all I am trying to say. It was night time. It was dark out. He was dark. His eyes were big white scary holes with dark centers. See what I mean?

I’d have to say about 6-3. Sinewy. Like a basketball player. Yeah. He looked strong. But he looked sick, too. So… sickly strong. Yeah. Like a wild animal. No fat on him. Not healthy looking and all filled out like you guys. But strong. That’s what made him look so scary, you know? He was like a Doberman you found loose on your side of the fence, you know? Yeah. Scary like that. He had some scars that weren’t fully healed on his elbows so he had those pink patches.

Yeah. I think those look weird too. Hey, I’m just saying… You two fight that one out. I don’t care either way. Like I said, I’m not color-blind but it all makes no never mind to me.

If you two want to work that out on your own… I sure could use a break.

I’m thirsty, man. I could use a soda.

Look, man. That girl deserves better than what you two are giving, right now.

There was so much blood. Blood everywhere. How could anybody do that to another human being?

*****

So like I was saying, every night this guy walked in front of our restaurant. The same damn thing. Marching marching marching. Big white holes in his head with dark brown centers. No smile. No expression at all on his mouth. Like a zombie, man. Yeah. I know. It was on the other night.

I don’t know why that woman at the end didn’t just break into the hardware store and get more shells for her shotgun? Yeah, I know it didn’t kill them, but it sure took their legs off. Them zombies walking on stumps was hilarious. Step, stump… step, stump. I don’t know how they made it all look so real.

Because I am a curious guy! I’ve told you that. I followed him just to see where the heck he went, you know? Every night he would walk past my window in a hurry. It was starting to drive me crazy. After awhile, all I could think about while behind the bar was “When is he gonna get here? Where is he coming from? Where is he going? What does he DO out there except walk?”

Yes! That was the only time he came inside! Didn’t I tell you that?

Our Mexican dishwasher came out of the kitchen screaming “Diablo! Diablo!” banging pots and pans together and scared him off.

He just pivoted on his heels again, turned and walked out. Then he walked down the street again, past my window at the bar, and right back to where he always went.

That night? Yeah, maybe. I think it was that night when I decided that I wanted to follow him. Yeah. That would make the most sense.

I know. But does anything ever really make sense in your line of work? I mean, you guys see worse than I do, and I’m a bartender.

I arranged for our day bartender to come back and man the bar for awhile. Yeah. I know. But you don’t say “woman” the bar, do you? She came to man the bar after the big rush had ended.

11:30 ish…

Yeah. She’s a sweet woman.

That’s none of your business.

I’ll call for a lawyer if you keep asking me shit like that. It really is none of your business. Fine. If another day goes by and you don’t have another suspect, I’ll answer that. But I’m not answering that today. Hell no. The government can kiss my ass.

So I wore dark clothes and put on a dark hat and wiped a little kitchen grime on my cheeks to make me not so shiny in the dark. Yeah. I wanted to see where he went without altering anything he did, you know what I mean?

Of course it seems rather silly, looking back. But you gotta understand, this guy had been walking by my window for months and months. I was obsessed by this point. He was driving me crazy. And I had time to think about how I was gonna do this, so naturally I thought of wearing dark clothes and a dark hat and smudging up my face. I mean, I WATCH a lot of television. This stuff isn’t rocket science!

Yeah, I took along a miniature mag light, one of those small ones, but I didn’t turn it on. I don’t know why there was blood all over it. No. I mean, look at the size of the thing! You can’t knock somebody out with something that small! I mean, get real here!

I probably pulled it out of my pocket and then put it back. I don’t know! I had blood all over my hands. Blood was everywhere.

I was checking for a pulse! I leaned over her and I put my hands in her blood. I wasn’t trying to keep the blood off of me because I wasn’t thinking about me at that moment. I was thinking about HER.

I don’t know where he was just then. I told you, I lost him and then I found her. Yeah. That’s what apparently happened. I went into the wrong door. You saw that place, there were a lot of doors.

I didn’t think about it! I was all hung up on following him to see where he wound up and I didn’t even think about the fact that I was entering into an apartment.

The guy seemed so out of it I figured I could sneak right up behind him and he wouldn’t even notice. In fact, I thought about doing just that. Yeah. I was gonna get right up behind him and just mimic his every move. Yeah. Like two zombies, a black one and a big fat white one.

Sure, I get my share of women, whaddya think?

Oh come on, guys. Women overlook a little pot if you sweeten things up with some kind words and cash, you know?

If you’re gonna sit over there and make comments about my looks, I’m gonna have to sit over here and think you’re both a couple of fags, you know what I’m sayin’?

No, I got nothing against fags. My brother’s a fag.

Yeah. Really.

I’m just saying, my looks ain’t got nothing to do with who killed that girl. You two are really starting to get off track, here, you know that?

Some murderous bastard is out there on the loose, and you two are squabbling like a couple of fags.

Yeah, it’s true. He came out of the closet and my old man hit him in the ass with a broom.

No, he isn’t an interior designer. He’s a police officer across the bridge.

Yeah. My brother is a cop. Hallelujah. A fag and a cop, OK?

Yeah, I know it could be considered breaking and entering. I told you, I was obsessed and wasn’t thinking right. I just figured I’d walk in and see where this zombie guy finally stopped walking. It was like following a train to the end to see where it finally stopped. I don’t know. I guess I’m just curious that way. Call me crazy. Whatever.

Blood everywhere.

I went straight to the body and I knelt down and I did whatever I thought I could do to help her and then I realized she was dead and had been dead for awhile and I started to push myself up from my knees and my hand slipped in the blood on the floor and I fell over and landed on her.

Yeah. I am a klutz, really. I never played sports because I wasn’t gifted. I was trying to push myself up to my feet and I slipped, that’s that.

OK. So I know it sounds preposterous. Yeah I know, the black clothes and the hat make me look like the prime suspect. Yeah, I know I was in the wrong apartment. No. I have no idea where he went. You mean, you haven’t found him yet?

Just wait until tonight. He’ll be walking by my restaurant, the same as he always does.

If he doesn’t, then I am probably going to spend some time in jail, because things look bad from where you are sitting, I know.

Yeah, she’ll vouch for me. Yeah, I told her why I wanted her to cover my shift for a bit. Of course she thought I was nuts. But she knows me. I am a good kind of nuts. Really.

No. I won’t tell you that and if you ask me again, I’ll ask for a lawyer.

Yes. I thought I was being helpful.

Yes. I do expect you to believe me.

***********************************************************

He talks?

You’re kidding, right?

What did he say?

Well, of course he didn’t see me. He never looks around. He just walks. He doesn’t turn his head. He doesn’t smile. He just walks!

Well, I’ve never seen him smile. Did he tell you why he walks?

Arthritis? Seriously? Arthritis?

Yeah, I know he’s hopped on drugs. I never said I knew what kind of drugs, I just said he looked out of it. So what was he like? How did he sound? What did he tell you?

He never saw me because I was sneaking around behind him. He wasn’t supposed to see me, that was the point!

He’s not my alibi! I don’t need an alibi! The bar is my alibi! That girl had been dead for awhile and I was at my bar with witnesses all over the place. Then I walked for forty minutes behind that guy…

Steven? His name is Steven? OK. I walked behind Steven for forty minutes and then I lost him in that hallway and then I thought he went into that door and I opened it and stuck my head inside.

I just figured I’d yell “Diablo! Diablo!” and run.

I told you, I wasn’t thinking very clearly, obviously.

I never said he lived in those apartments. I just said…

I didn’t take a taxi! I don’t have a car!

No. I live two blocks from work. I walk.

I buy my groceries in bags of two and I put them under my arms and I walk home.

I’m not that strong. I told you. I never played any sports growing up. I’m a klutz.

Stop squeezing my bicep or I’ll think you’re a fag.

Yes. And he’s a cop across the bridge.

*****************************************************

Oh Thank God!

What do you mean?

You just said you have another suspect? That means I didn’t do it, right?

Well, of course I know that. That’s just plain ol’ logic. But when you said you have another suspect, I thought you meant you found the guy who did this.

It’s just a figure of speech. Yeah. I don’t know if it’s a guy or not. I just said “guy” because that’s what we say.

Your suspect is a girl? You think a woman did that? It looked so brutal. I just assumed…

You think Annie did that? You can’t be serious? Annie? But she was at the bar, taking my shift. You people have really got this all wrong in a big way. Why on earth would Annie kill that woman? I’d wager that Annie doesn’t even know that woman.

I don’t know. I just assumed that.

Yes. I mean, as well as anyone can know someone they work with.

Yes, I did. Many times. I told you, say nice things about them and toss some money around. I know she is younger than I am. I know she is pretty. I’m not blind.

Her breasts have nothing to do with this investigation and I would suggest the two of you grow up about it before I get really mad.

Yes I have a temper. So what?

Yes, I love her.

No I don’t know who she sleeps with when I am not with her. She is a grown woman. She does what she pleases.

If you say so. Poor Annie. May I see her? You have her here, right? Does she need a lawyer?

I’ve known her plenty long enough to know that she in no way in hell did this. You people need to get out there and do a better job than you are doing. There is a vicious killer out there. And you’re wasting time in here with me.

Yes I know I look guilty as hell. That’s why I am trying to cooperate

***************************************************



Annie is not a lesbian and I am not jealous of who she sleeps with! How the hell do you know Annie was having an affair with her?

Pictures? What pictures.?

Wow! She WAS a beautiful woman! What a goddamn waste and shame.

I don’t know who that is, but that’s not Annie. Annie has a mole right there at the edge of her pubic hair. Yes. A mole. Like that model on TV. Yeah. Just like her beauty mark. Have someone look if you don’t believe me.

Well yeah, it does look like Annie. But as far as I know, Annie never had an affair with a woman.

She liked… WHY THE HELL AM I TELLING YOU THIS!

I want a lawyer. Get Annie a lawyer. You people are nuts and you’ve got it all wrong.

I was helping you! But you’ve gone too far. You’ve got an innocent friend of mine in the other room. You won’t let me talk to her. You’ve accused her of batting both ways and you’re passing around naked pictures of a dead woman. The two of you don’t even like each other, it’s so freaking obvious, and there is a killer out there in the world who just brutally stabbed a woman to death and you have no idea who it is.

Because you could tell by looking at the body! It’s not rocket science. She had stab wounds all over her torso. Her neck was slit. The killer cut one of her nipples off and lord knows what he did to her vaginal region.

There was blood all over her crotch!

No I didn’t try and sneak a peek! What kind of a sick bastard are you?

Again I said “he” because I assume it’s a man. It looked like the work of a man, that’s all.

They’re animals! They are violent animals! Women aren’t like that. Women don’t DO that. Men are the ones who do shit like that.

No. I didn’t get that from television!

Men are just like that. Look around. Open your eyes. My god, you’re supposed to be a couple of police officers, and you act like school boys with your new lunch boxes you’ve never even dared to open.

I didn’t DO this! I told you. I was following that black guy- STEVE- and I walked into the apartment by mistake.

Yes. Out of the blue.

Yes, it was a major coincidence. Coincidences happen. It’s not rocket science.

Either charge me and get me a lawyer or let me go. My 24 hours is going to be up soon. I’m tired. I’m dirty. I want to go home and shower and sleep for days.

************************************************************

I know how this looks but I didn’t DO this. I’m not going to plead guilty to something I didn’t do.

What? What did I do? I followed a guy on foot for forty minutes and then I opened the wrong apartment door. That’s it. Those are my crimes.

I was wearing black because I didn’t want to get caught.

Not by her neighbors! By Steve!

Because he was weird and he walked by my bar everyday late at night and his mouth never made an expression and his eyes looked like giant white holes with dark brown centers.

I know stalking is a crime. I wasn’t stalking. I was “following”. That’s all. I just wanted to see where he ended up. That’s all.

You want me to plead to stalking? The guy was a zombie. Why would I stalk a zombie?

I’m not gay. No. I told them my brother was gay. He’s a cop. Yes. They know that too.

I haven’t called him. We’re not as close as we should be.

No. Not because he is gay. You’re as obtuse as the cops were.

Yeah, I know that. But I can’t afford my own damn lawyer, and they gave me you. So no. I don’t have a choice.

For the fiftieth time. I didn’t kill that woman. I tried to help her. I know how it looks, that’s why I have been cooperating and will continue to cooperate.

Just tell me those damn cops are out there looking for who really did this. I’m not kidding.

*********************************************************


I’m innocent.

You may laugh, but it’s true. I was a bartender just minding my own business, when this black guy- no offense to you, my friend- walked by my bar. Every night, he walked by. His face was like a zombie. He had drool hanging off his lips. I followed him one night and I opened the wrong goddamn door. She was dead on the floor and I fell on top of her. End of story.

Yeah. You’re guilty as hell- I read about you in the papers.

You KNEW the girl I found lying on the floor?


--THE END--