Blogging as Catharsis... Or Ode To Tuti
One of the loves of my entire life- and I mean that with a straight face and with a broken heart- died on Sunday in my arms. My dog Tuti. She got sick on Friday, slept all day Saturday avoiding the heat, and on Sunday came to get me around noon so that I could hold her while she died.
It has ripped me up pretty good inside and I am coping with profound grief that many will find over the top for "just a dog".
Tuti was the sweetest living thing I have ever known. In any form. She died before she was seven of a mystery that came quick and caught me holding the phone, literally, to the emergency vet.
I made a video, just screwing around, of Tuti talking to me like she did every morning, called "The Day That Ducky Died". I was learning how to use the program so it is pretty silly. If you watch it, Tuti is the voice of the video and the white dog at the end.
I'll tell you why Tuti was so special one day, when I can stop crying.
35 comments:
Dude. Sorry to hear about your loss.
As you know, the grieving never stops. Ambushes you in silent moments.
So sorry.
Oh Scott. I'm so sorry to hear it. All they give is love and the loss is impossible to bear.
Scott, I am so sorry for your loss, it was not that long ago that I was going through the same thing, so I will not be saying anything about "just a dog"... I know Tuti was so much more than that.
I just want to hug you!
I'm so sorry.
It's tough when you lose someone you love.
No, Scott, it ain't over the top. Probably the best friends I've ever had were my cats, my dogs Rudolph and Mary. When Mary got hit by a farmer in his truck in the field by our house, I couldn't sleep that night. Or the next. It is like losing a part of your family, yourself.
Me and the boys have had many funerals for our beloved pets, and each one was heart-breaking.
My sympathies go out to you, and damn, I'm so so, sorry. I know it hurts like hell.
Aw Scott, I'm sorry to hear this. And there's nothing wrong with crying over the death of one of your best friends.
In the video I could swear that she' says "I love you" twice.
Pets are amazing, and I can understand your grief. No one loves us like our pets.
What a tough thing to go through. So sorry. Writing about it helps though. Thanks for sharing. A beautiful dog.
people are so complicated. dogs are so simple. they either love you or they don't. if they do, it is unconditional and whole-hearted.
I am so sorry.
I'm so very sorry.
Geez - sorry Scott - too soon.
My heart cries with you - and I'll be doing the same soon.
Oh, man, I am so very very sorry....
I'm not sure I want to hear the story...I may not be able to stop crying myself!
I'm not sure I want to hear the story...I may not be able to stop crying myself!
it's one of the worst pains imagineable. so very sorry.
Oh Scott -
My heart is breaking for you.
I am so very sorry.
Let yourself grieve without giving a sh*t what anyone else might say. I'm sorry to hear about Tuti and hope you and the other dog(s) can comfort each other.
I agree with Maggie, Tuti said "I love you"... and she said that to you every morning, that is true love and devotion, you are so lucky to have had that, remember it with love.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Scott. She looked like she was a beautiful dog. I had a white dog too when I was a kid and when he died I was devastated. I've never quite loved any other dog the way I loved him.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful dog. I would be the last person to tell you that your grieving is over-the-top. I look forward to hearing the stories about her.
Oh man... this is a sad day. I feel rather blessed I got to meet your white wonder dog. She was as sweet as the day is long. Here's knowing she has dug herself a cool spot in the sand beyond. Hugs babe~~
Scott my man, my heart is broken over here. I'm sorry. We played the video of Tuti talking about the ducky and one of our dogs (Sal, the chocolate) came running in to listen to Tuti tell it how it was. I don't know what Tuti might have been saying, but it made Sal lick us a lot.
Give extra lovin to Wenzel for us, would you please?
Your precious Tuti is gone...but never forgotten. I look forward to reading her stories and hearing all about her life. She had a "beautiful voice." I am sure she is one of the highlights of your life. I am so sorry Scott.
To all of you. Thank you.
A whole bunch.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss... it's not easy losing a member of your family like that. Especially one that never made you hurt in the way humans can.
Oh no!!! I'm so sorry!
Can't type a darn thing other than that, or I'll start crying too...
(damn, too late)
Since we're still grieving the loss of our Razor, we'll grieve some for you too.
So sorry to hear the news, friend.
I look forward to your posts when you're ready.
And I both admire and respect your ability to admit your pain.
You're a special man, Scott.
Bernita is right. It never goes away and the pain will invade your thoughts in quiet moments. When they die in your arms it is a pain beyond description. The last one is still fresh in my mind and my heart, even though it has been more than two years ago. I was holding her when she took her first breath, fresh from her mother's womb, and I was holding her when she took her last breath thirteen years later. The pain is so great that I still can't bear the thought of having another dog.
I share in your sorrow and I send you my love.
Shirley
Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't care what people say; it hurts just as much to lose a beloved pet as it does to lose a human companion.
I'm really sorry - I know pets can become family and the loss hits hard. She was a beautiful dog.
Oh, that is too terrible, I am so sorry Scott. Of course you are heart broken, she wasn't "only a dog", she loved you, played with you, followed you, and spoke to you. There must be a big hole ripped through your heart now that she's been taken so early. It's not fair, and it's not right. Grieve as much as you need to. Big hugs, bonny lad. x
Oh Scott...I am so sorry. A dogs' love & affection is unlike any other. It sucks that it came so quickly, but at least she didn't suffer & had you there with her. Even dogs have wings, Scott.
Our seemingly extravagant pain & heartache over such loss is equal to the love and appreciation we had in the gains. Peace to Tuti...I know she loved you.
OMG, Scott I am so sorry that you lost your dog Tuti, I've only lost 1 so far in my life and dread the day that I will lose my little Emmy or My Raleigh dog.
I hope your coping ok, Take care. (((Hugs)))
I haven't had time to catch up with my blogreading for several days, and here I find you've lost someone special. I'm terribly sorry, Scott. I'll say this, though--just from your reaction over Tuti's passing I know you filled her life with the sort of love that she gave you, so know that you did good by her. And don't ever doubt that she knew that.
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