Look! I Brought A Sleek Floating Model Home!

Today was the day I loaded Mum into the truck and headed into the giant metropolis of Grants Pass to join the hordes of other shoppers all converging on the giant WalMart there, all ready to wander the giant super-store with their lists on yellow paper, bumping into each other, the old one's fighting over the electric carts, the young ones heading straight to the video section while their parents headed off to the new barbeque's just in.

We bought a ton of crap for 210 dollars. I got me new underwear, a few pairs of shorts, some sharp new scissors for converting sweat pants into more shorts, and lots of other stuff. Mum always heads into the knitting section and comes out with too many projects in her hands. She gets them done, though, watching Lou Dobbs and Tucker and lots of other talking heads. If you are going to listen to those guys, you should keep your hands busy, is what Mum always says.

A long time ago in Tokyo I dated a few models. That didn't just pop into my head- even though it does sometimes and I don't mind it a bit. I tell you that, because this blonde girl in the picture here, reminds me of a girl I escorted around Tokyo for a few weeks long ago. She was freshly discovered and sent to Tokyo to "make a book". The thing I remember about her most, is that she didn't like anything about herself.

I tell you this so you'll know why I kept returning to the package holding what this blonde girl is floating on. I did! I was looking for a chair for my Mum to float around on, and I kept coming back to this girl's picture. It reminded me of someone I once new, way back when. Someone I knew for a few weeks and was quite happy to stare at, but was not enthralled by once she opened her mouth. Self-loathing seemed even odder coming from a person who looked like she did. You wanted to slap her to snap her out of it. You wanted to shake her. You certainly thought about having sex...

So I brought this model home. I did! I didn't ask Mum or nothing, I just loaded her into the car with everything else and brought her back to our new little pool. I wanted to see if she looked as good at my house. I wanted to see her floating around and adding beauty to the top of the water.

I wondered if I climbed on top of her, would she throw me off? I'm a big galloot and I weigh a bunch. I was able to get on top of her and get inside her, but the fit was not a good one.

I started thinking- "maybe I brought the wrong model home?"

There were other models there and I could have just as easily brought home one of those.

This next model looks like she'd be good at holding drinks for me. I'd like that. I could float around the pool and retrieve my drink from her at my leisure. She looks like I'd always have to get in her by standing up and jumping.

That's a worry.

She might split up the sides.

I like this model. She'd hold my drinks and let me put my feet on her.

I could see myself sprawling on top of her, rolling over when I felt like it, even tossing her into the yard and relaxing with a good book with her.

The model in the next picture looks a little hard. The hard models are a worry. They could hurt you. You wouldn't want to just jump on one of these models. You would have to be much more careful than that. She does look like she'd hold two drinks for you. And that's pretty cool.

I really like this next model. I think I should have brought her home. She has the best shape out of all the models. She looks fully supportive and soft and wonderful to jump on. She doesn't look like she'd hold my drink, but who cares? I mean, look at those curves and that color! I'd roll around a swimming pool all day with that model.

The next two models aren't my style at all. Given a choice between one of these and no model at all, sure. I'd take one of these. The first one looks all stiff and rigid and uncomfortable to get on top of.

The second one has an attachent that looks like lots of future trouble.

The last three models are all my types. If only my wee little pool were just a little bigger...