Diva Dee And The Dippety-Doo-Da's
Remember when you were a kid walking the arcade aisle at the fair that came to town? You come across one of those fortune-teller machines and your curiosity gets the better of your sound judgment and you stick a quarter in the horizontal slot and you pull the lever and you get a piece of paper as generic and predictable as you knew it would be?
You read it for all of the amusement you can squeeze out of it, even sharing it with perfectly strange midgets and one-armed Irish clowns, and then you toss the paper atop the piles of paper plates and cotton candy cones spilling out of the metal trash bins and move on to the man who draws caricatures for 5 bucks and you think - “I wonder how they’d do me?”
I followed a link of a friend’s blog about a month ago to another one of those sites where a bunch of partially literate women who love kitties give themselves "really cool" names like
“Diva Dee” and advertise themselves as “blog reviewers”.
I read a few reviews and realized that once again, we had a glass case with a big sign lacking much of anything substantive inside.
But like the glass box containing the mysterious gypsy with the horizontal slot on her front side, I went ahead and inserted my quarter for shits and giggles, knowing full well that what I would get would be about as worthy as what I paid for it.
And in one phrase that would fit on a piece of paper that would be spit out of such a box, my review was as follows-- “I have A D D and an anal disposition, so I had troubles staying within the white lines you drew for me to separate your post from your goofy shit, and I couldn’t understand your thoughts, which were really long, but I liked the story (a somber allegory about the Iraqi War) about you peeing on yourself when you were a kid… Hilarious!”
So there you have it. I got reviewed.
You read it for all of the amusement you can squeeze out of it, even sharing it with perfectly strange midgets and one-armed Irish clowns, and then you toss the paper atop the piles of paper plates and cotton candy cones spilling out of the metal trash bins and move on to the man who draws caricatures for 5 bucks and you think - “I wonder how they’d do me?”
I followed a link of a friend’s blog about a month ago to another one of those sites where a bunch of partially literate women who love kitties give themselves "really cool" names like
“Diva Dee” and advertise themselves as “blog reviewers”.I read a few reviews and realized that once again, we had a glass case with a big sign lacking much of anything substantive inside.
But like the glass box containing the mysterious gypsy with the horizontal slot on her front side, I went ahead and inserted my quarter for shits and giggles, knowing full well that what I would get would be about as worthy as what I paid for it.
And in one phrase that would fit on a piece of paper that would be spit out of such a box, my review was as follows-- “I have A D D and an anal disposition, so I had troubles staying within the white lines you drew for me to separate your post from your goofy shit, and I couldn’t understand your thoughts, which were really long, but I liked the story (a somber allegory about the Iraqi War) about you peeing on yourself when you were a kid… Hilarious!”
So there you have it. I got reviewed.
14 comments:
The whole idea of self-appointed reviewers of others' blogs troubles me a bit. Seems like just an excuse for getting to say snide things with impunity. And are you supposed to change in response? Think I'm going to pass on putting myself through that.
Did you at least get your lucky numbers out of it?
I'm with cs, i write how i write and if you like it read it, and if you don't go elsewhere, there are plenty of blogs out there.
Laughed at your fortune teller machine analogy.
Some of the blogs they love, I don't much like. Some of the blogs they hate, I enjoy. Taste is relative, I guess. I like this one anyway. :-)
Is it still NaTanYoHinyMo? I don't want to make mine too brown.
Well, if you had just asked me first.....
You Rock!
Lol...I love the medical diagnosis! And to think I thought only teachers were qualified to do such things!
Those plastic fortune teller machine ladies are creeeeeeepy!
I'm liking your post!
Thanks for the blogroll...I've done the same!
OMG you are famous now? Don't forget us little people!
I generally don't trust those who think they should be the ones reviewing what others do. They generally think they are above the rest of the population and are looking for deep meaning when all someone is trying to do is tell an amusing story.
Someone with ADD should never review - any post longer than 3 words and has no pictures would lose their interest. If they couldn't stay in the lines, then they have problems. I get confused at some sites to be sure but yours isn't one of them.
I think if you read their blog before submitting your site you knew what you would get. They did say nice things about some of your stories.
I submitted over there too and probably won't do nearly as well as you. But then again, my tastes and their tastes don't really align well.
I submitted mine just for an average bloggers opinion.
Sorry for the superlong comment, just wanted to let you know I've bookmarked you to come back because of what they said!
Hi y'all!
You know, most of these sites that spring up doing the 'review thing" very quickly become about the reviewers themselves.
In case in point, this reviewer that did my review didn't spend much actual time reading. You can easily scan your stats and ascertain that.
What we learned about my site, was that she has trouble concentrating and likes things "orderly". She also has a reading comprehension problem, making her chosen hobby a bit perplexing...
Other than that, I tell stories about my childhood...
Making it all a pretty silly joke to pass around bloggerdom while attempting to pass a few minutes in between other things...
Hahaha...nice response here Scott. I'd say that's fair enough...sounds accurate to me. I still can't get over the fact that an attempt to make a medical diagnosis was made, if not that then she was labeling you & not your blog.
Consider your commenters and/or voyeurs your true reviewers and you'll realize that your blog really does rock. Memories are just that, memories, until they are shared...then they become stories, legends & tales to be passed down and around.
I love your blog. Your crazy antics and the way you tell them always bring me back for more. Plus, I think you seem like a good guy, and a lot of times the blogs I frequent are written by people I could envision being friends with "on the outside".
I doubt a self proclaimed Reviewer actually spends enough time to get a feel for a blog or the blogger, so reviews wouldn't hold much weight for me.
"I couldn’t understand your thoughts, which were really long,..."
Dear me. Such a pain in the ass to be encouraged to think.
So blogs are supposed to be superficial chit-chat?
You go, Guy.
Well, a blogger friend of mine was reviewed by these people and they were not complimentary. I spent most of the time reading the review thinking, who the heck are you to say anything? These blog reviewers drop in out of nowhere, spend a short time, write some pithy and nasty comments, then go away.
I've started a blog review site for people who actually READ your blogs to review you. After all, who knows you better?
Everyone's welcome to join in, it's at - http://blogzreview.blogspot.com/ - maybe one of your readers would like to review you *PROPERLY*. ;)
Snoskred
http://snoskred.blogspot.com/
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