This Cold Is Dawning In The Age Of Aquarius...

When I got up this morning, there was white frost across our two acres of grass and up on our back deck and the dog bowls outside were frozen solid and the hoses laying about were crunchy frozen and I hurried into the house thinking my bare feet might stick to the wooden deck before I got past there, and I should probably be wearing more than a T-shirt and some skivvies but I’ve been doing this this way all summer and I am a guy and we are slow to change...

I showered and got warmed up and kicked on the computer and got this email from my friend Wizard, who, just the week before last, was standing next to me in the cold telling me terrifically terrible tales and wearing his rain gear and talking about his upcoming trip to Koh Samui, which was still a few days off back then--

Me and Sue alive and well on Koh Samui , Thailand. Water is 80, beer is 34, I am 54, departure is 1/2/07 to Bangkok and then to US of A on 1/5/07. I hate snow and cold and my fingers don't get cold here!! a-fuckin mazin'. Got us a shack on the beach with A/C and fridge and hot water shower for cheap. Daily Thai massages for about 200 baht . (about $6 for an hour)....deal of the day. Wishing you all merry merry holiday. Thanks for the tip Scotty. Wish you were here too. Peace Wiz and Susie

So today while working outside with cold steel in 37 degree weather all day, the topic of conversation was brought around again and again to “that bastard” and of course we all knew who that bastard was.

I mean, here we were, wearing clothes fit for a snowball fight, breathing out enough condensed breath to make us look like Green Bay Packer fans on New Years Day, my two thumbs aching from old frostbite I got while trying to rescue a Japanese girl stuck on the top of a too tall for her mountain in Hakuba, Japan years ago, my feet actually COLD inside wool-lined boots, and one of our own, one of US, was laying with his pretty wife on a warm beach in another country far from here, drinking beer and telling the same lame jokes and terrifically terrible tales to whole new groups of unsuspecting new listeners.

Now the thing of it was, somehow, he was able to transport himself into that new reality with relative ease, as he had never traveled abroad before and he is more of a walker/driver type of guy, this being too far a jaunt for either one of those modes to be effective.

And it made me think of a guy named Alexander, whom I had heard speak once and only once, back in 1981.

And the reason I thought of him, was that I once again realized with brilliant clarity just how small the world has gotten.

And every time I start thinking about a small world- a place where cultural boundaries can be crossed in a matter of hours, where people like what's-his-name from that news source place can fly out and actually be a PART of breaking news on the other side of the planet, where I can break out a credit card and be within fifty feet of just about anyone, anywhere on the planet who wants to see me in a time span usually under twenty four hours from the moment they say “you should come” (ok, barring visa applications) where a local carpenter can put his hammer down one day, and send an email two days later describing a completely different set of circumstances simply by paying for other people to transport him thusly... I mean WOW!! people... How cool is that?

SO THERE I WAS, my toes numbing and my thumbs aching from the severe cold we are working in, thinking about this world we live in and how small it has become, how INTERMINGLED people actually are, and this lecture I attended with my friend G and his mother (who insisted we attend) comes floating back into my mind, a nutjobberdoodoohead named Alexander, and I stuck my tongue in the hole I have from a missing tooth way in the back where I cracked a tooth in half a few years back, and I sawed and exhaled white frost like a purple people eater, and my nose dripped runny snot and my peepee tried to invert to become a vagina and I had to tie a string to it because in this type of cold you gotta pee way more than you actually gotta go...

...and I put lots of things together in my head that had never really been put together before (well, not since AELEOPE gave me a platform to pontificate, teehee) and I thought that I should tell people about my experience with “the great Alexander” and let people think and work stuff out for themselves...

And so, as luck would have it, while I am typing this, my friend Wizard sends me this email, just to rub it all in--

RE: You suckers who shovel snow for fun


Roger that Mr. Kazooboo....we have decided to stay right here on Lamai Beach for our entire trip instead flying around here to there, it's so pleasant and 'life is better on the beach', as they say anyway. I am getting used to it.. mixed sun and clouds, and you know the rest. Moving to another spot down the beach tomorrow, so just sucking Hieneken and getting the massage treatments and digging the pool today. Walk beach in morning,,,nice, big waves , for here, since arriving. Maybe gonna grow weed legally for the next 10 yrs. , then retire to Thailand. JUST LOVE the prices. anyway bro.....I'm wanted back poolside. Peace.. p.s. Talked to Jake, he's on Phi Phi don, thought of going to Chiang Mai with us, but told him we're not going. He 's going to break to China for a side trip, then back to Thailand. Got his diver's cert. too. Life is alright Scotty. Later, Wiz





So with that bit of rubbing it in, here is the story of Alexander and the shrinking world we live in--

My friend G had a Mom who never really had a job until G was about sixteen. Then she got a job working for the Junior College as a student something something...

But since she mostly wasn’t working, she tended to fill her time with esoteric teachings and study. She did EST. She did Yoga. Tantric stuff. She studied the Bible and the Koran. She was into New Age before it was even new. It was still remnant hippy shit, and she did it too.

And just out of high school, she got G and I to go with her to see a guy she thought was really cool. He called himself “Alexander” and spoke in a booming voice. He had seventies sideburns and hair and turtlenecks and bell-bottoms, but he was older, his hair was gray, and he wore this gigantic medallion with a stone in it, which he claimed had special symbolic powers....

I think I forked out seventy five bucks (you only get out of these things what you put in, the money is a commitment, wank wank...) and joined about forty people in a rented space and listened to this guy go on and on about the coming of the Age of Aquarius...

The whole time I was there, I had that song in my head. You know the one. Don’t get me started...

And this guy Alexander went on and on and on. He had the whole astrology history thing down. He could tie the pyramids in with the secret Christian symbols and then pepper it all with Aquarian mindfulness. He gave an eight hour lecture on this subject, far surpassing my ability to stop staring at the preetty girl with the great ass two rows up, and I soaked in some of it whether I wanted to or not. Imean seventy five bucks... Come on....

But as I was out there working in the cold, thinking about the small world we now live in, my feet going numb and my thumbs aching, I started hearing this pompous butt’s voice in my head, giving me the history of the age of Taurus, the age of Pisces, and now, the Aquarian age...

And if you are over forty and have read esoterically for fun and profit, you would probably know the spiel. The age of Pisces was symbolized by the fish-- a Christian symbol, governed by emotions, yaddy yaddy...

And the Age of Aquarius, will be governed by intellect. It will be an age of unheralded communication. Rationality and mind.... yaddy yaddy yaddy...

So, my being an Aquarian, and being rational and reasonable, and not too readily swayed by booming voices and medallions on turtle necked chests, wrote the whole thing off as seventy five bucks spent on an oddity. Something unique and weird to think about. A lesson out of the ordinary.

But thinking about Wizard and the shrinking planet we live on, I can’t help but feel part of some new form of explosion. The age of intellect and reason.

I mean, here it is, before us. Every thought a google away from verification. No more silly thoughts. No more flat worlds and bowling pins in clouds...Every religion in direct contact with every other religion, to the point where symbiosis and transformation are probable and inevitable.

Direct communication with anybody, anywhere, living all sorts of different types of realities.

How can you not elevate the mental aspects of human evolution under these conditions? How can we not expand human consciousness beyond the emotional dribble we live now, into a higher avenue of thought?

In so many ways, there are these myriad signs pointing toward the fact that that goofball Alexander was relevant and right.

I mean, we now have TIME magazine designated ME, and my dribble, and YOU and your double dribble, as PERSON OF THE YEAR! Woohoohoo!!



The dawning of the Age of reason and the intellect...

The Aquarian Age...

WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK IT?