Saturday, November 28, 2009

Odd A Tees...

When I'm in line at a check-out and something halts the process- perhaps a pricecheck or a slow computer terminal, I always start quietly whistling the music to Jeopardy. You'd be surprised how often you can get people tittering with just a few notes...





I was listening to a report about Hajj, the Muslim ritual of going to Mecca and praying to a rock. Millions of Muslims all in one crowded place was cause for concern, the experts warned, for the spread of swine flu. "Can you imagine?" I thought, "the IRONY in that? (Crowded Mexican pig farms making Muslims sick while being hyper-Muslim during Hajj, for those not on the same page as me...)



I made this knife-block for my sister back when I was a sophomore in high school. That would make it... (takes off shoes, counts on toes) umm... like about thirty years old. Holy Crap! If you're paying attention, you'll notice one glaring mistake in the project, and as I've often been forced to say - "But wait! I can explain!"


It was the last day of class before Christmas break, and the block was essentially finished. Since I had an hour to kill, I thought I'd whip out the school's router and write something on the base, since it looked bland in its plain state.


So I wrote "knife".


And I was happy with my router penmanship. But then I thought, "But there is more than one knife..." and in a quick instant, I had turned the router back on and added an "s" to the end of knife, making... well... "knifes".


It was then too late to make a new base and I had to give my sister the present with the glaring mistake on it.


Which over thirty years turned out to be to my advantage. The "knifes" mistake became a bit of a family focal point during spats and disputes, which suited me fine.


If I were, say, to rib my brother about his double chin, he'd come back with- "It's knives. Not kniffffes", and I'd pretend to be duly humiliated and would then be spared some other more hurtful disparagement because of the knife-block's existence.

Cool beans huh? All these years, protected by an "s" from the tongue lashings of family...


I spent three days agonizing over the purchase of hiking boots and finally chose a pair of Columbia's in a size 14. I wear a 13 typically, but I want to make these boots do double time, hooking them up with snow shoes this winter, and hiking in them both spring and fall. The "winter boots" were all too insulated for my overly sweaty feet, so I opted for thick, insulated socks instead, hence the larger size. In the warmer spring and fall months I can wear a thick poly sock that wicks sweat up and out of the boot and I'll be spared the blisters (I am hoping). I know that isn't interesting in the least, but the agonizing part was actually interesting to me. I'm a walk in and buy-what-I-like-and-run, kind of guy. This purchase took me three days to make, and I spent quite a bit of time on research and "decisioning".


Oyy vey, I must be getting old...

Finally, the other day, I was in the lumber yard at the cash register. On display as a pick up item was a Buck knife, compact flashlight set. What set me off was the fact that both the knife and the flashlight were camouflaged. I mean really? Out of everything you may possible carry in the woods, DO YOU REALLY WANT YOUR FLASHLIGHT AND YOUR KNIFE to disappear if you drop them on the ground?

I mean, what animal gets freaked out if the flashlight in your pocket is orange or yellow?

And if you are close enough to an animal to actually USE the knife on the animal while it is still alive... IT SEES YOU ALREADY!

Other than that, I got nuttin'...

8 comments:

Mushy said...

I like knifes better...some good vintage knifes there too!

Thought...do Muslims call it the swine flu when they get it?

dogbait said...

Absolute rubbish those Columbia boots. Two trips to Nepal, one in the Andes, the Overland Track in Tasmania and various other hikes and this is what they look like!

I'd get your money back.

Scott from Oregon said...

dogbait-- Awesome boots then?

But yours look a bit wrinkled.

fairyhedgehog said...

You do come up with some interesting odds and ends.

Jeannie said...

Knifes is better because it proves the block was handmade (or made in China).

I understand the theory behind the boots and it seems sound, but what do you do with the extra space when it isn't so cold? Are there other socks or insoles to fill it up?

I agree about the camo on the knife and flashlight...the flashlight will only be pulled out in the dark besides...but I bet you'd have loved the camo bathing suit my daughter tried on yesterday.

Stucco said...

Haji is the Indian kid on Johnny Quest. Hajj is the Muslim dealy. I read that so far 5 have died there of swine flu. Crazy.

Bernita said...

Love it!
In the kitchen I have a couple of shop class treasurers too.

dogbait said...

You can see through my sarcasim! Yep, great boots and been everywhere man as the song goes. The Goretex membrane is just breaking down now as they start to leak a little after a couple of hours of rain.

In other words, my feet never get wet while I wear them here.