Saturday, June 20, 2009

Oh Lordy... What Have I Done?

Our pair of miscreants here have a purpose other than eating and playing.

We live in the rural part of Oregon, so we don't get many people walking by on the way to the movie theatre.

When they do, it is the job of these two trouble-makers to bark at them from our side of the fence and let them know that we know that they are there.

If I am nearby, I'll take a glance at who they are, whistle at the dogs and they'll stop barking and come running back to me.

They are good dogs doing dogly things in an undogly world.

The other day I heard them barking at someone and it was starting to go on for a bit longish. I crawled out of the shallow ditch where I was gluing some pipe and wandered out front to see what they were barking at. If someone goes by on a horse I want to call them so they won't agitate the horse, and if they are on foot I want to at least see who they are and access them for motive and degree of mischievousness.

Before I got out front, I heard some "dude" howling at my dogs from the other side of the fence. He was howling at them and they were barking back. I walked out there to confront the dude and stop the nonsense, and bring the dogs back around to the house.

"Look at you!' the dude called out. "Coming out here thinking you're all bad and shit. You're not bad. Hell, I'd go five rounds with you, no probs, man. I'm retired Navy. Wanna see my ID?"

I was walking all bad because my sacrum in my back was acting up. It makes me tilt a little from side to side (and I let my arms hang down rather than swing them because they are heavy and the swinging causes the muscles around the sacrum to convulse and tighten)...

In other words, I prolly looked like I thought I was bad, but I was really just hidin' the fact that I was gettin' old...

"Five rounds, huh? Why, you're nothing but an old drunk!"

"Maybe so, but at least I got sense enough not to let my dogs bark at people walking by."

"They're dogs. They're supposed to bark. I trained them to bark at old drunks and retards. Which one are you?"

Then he went on a tirade about walking by every morning and having to deal with my dogs barking at him, and how if they ever got on the other side of the fence he was gonna...

I stopped him in the middle of his threats...

"I'll tell you straight up I don't beat the crap out of old drunks. But I kill assholes who touch my dogs... I'll give you the option of leaving now or waiting for me to climb the fence...."

He said a few fuck you's and headed on down the road.

Now I have to keep closer tabs on the dogs. If they run out to see who is walking by, I have to go out and check on things. I am worried that the old nutcase will toss rat poison or something wrapped in food into our yard as he passes by. Wenzel will wolf it down before she knows what is inside it (I gave her pills for six months, I know). The guy was obviously unglued just enough to pull some shit like that. Add to that my own fertile imagination on what the guy could do...

Sometimes there is no winning.

And it pisses me off.

7 comments:

dogbait said...

Aggressive old drunks. Sounds like a meter reader to me!

Barking dogs never worried me if they were at the other side of a fence.

Jeannie said...

You're right - dogs are supposed to bark. People who hate dogs just because they do what they are meant to annoy the hell out of me. Hopefully the old dude was full of hot air. Just the same, you'll have to be careful.

meno said...

Uh oh. I'd worry too as this dude sounds like not all his dogs are barking.

Shirley said...

No, Meno. All of this dude's dogs are barking and all of them are barking up the wrong tree. He's just plain nuts. He is one to watch out for.

Mushy said...

Good for you!

citizen of the world said...

Yyesh. As long as they are behind a fence, dogs can bark at me all they choose. (It's the ons who apporach me barking and unleashed who worry me!) I'd keep an eye on that guy for sure.

Jean said...

What a whacko! He says the dogs bark at him every time he walks by? And you haven't noticed him before?
Sounds fishy. Keep a sharp eye.