Saturday, March 14, 2009

Floating Mums And Daffodils...


Our daffodils were trying to flower just as a big, wet cold front moved in today to bring back our West coast winter.


I found it the perfect opportunity to crank up the hot tub and spend an enjoyable hour getting hammered on the head with cold, cold rain while sitting happily ensconced in 105 degree water up to my neck.


(Follow that with 20 minutes on the massage chair and all things become nothings for quite some time...)


While sitting in the hot tub, I worked out the most plausible explanation to a problem Mum and I have been having when she goes to town for her physical therapy.


You see, her legs float.


That's a problem when you are a weak person trying to get your feet on the bottom of a 50 inch deep pool. The feet pop out of the water which forces your hips up almost out of the water which forces your head to tilt back quite far meaning you start taking in water in your nose and mouth...


If you are old and have had a stroke, you forget to simply swim yourself upright and you panic, making someone (me) have to reach over the edge of the pool and right the situation with a tug to the backside of your pair of grandma swimmers, which gives you a bit of a wedgie and leaves grandma ass cheeks hanging out where they have no business hanging out-- at least in a public place full of old men riding exercise bikes...


Placing weights around the ankles is the obvious solution to the problem, but what kind of weight and how to construct it so it doesn't harm old grandma skin and/or be harmful to the pool that Mum swims in?


And even more to my love of puzzling things over... WHAT THE HELL causes an old lady's legs to suddenly start to float like cork?


I thought and thought about that while sitting in the rain in the bubbling water, and came up with this answer, though I have no idea if it is the correct answer.


A combination of Osteoporosis (extra porosity, i.e. more bubbles in the bones) and less muscle mass (skinny legs).


I say BINGO! on that answer, but have yet to confirm it. Anybody ever hear of such a thing before?

7 comments:

citizen of the world said...

I have no idea, but it sounds plausible. Old people (esepcially think old women) certainly have incredibly thin, light bones.

We're getting cold rain here, but it's not freezing so the daffodils are blooming merrily away.

Shrinky said...

I dunno' hon, but it certainly sounds plausible. The very fact that you are puzzling it through and seeking an answer out speaks volumes. Your ma is much loved and extremely lucky, health problems or no.

Cheesy said...

Maybe Mum enjoys wedgies and showing her bum off to the guys? It's all a ruse!

meno said...

Unable to confirm your theory at this end. Will get back to you in 20 years.

writtenwyrdd said...

What happened to the "ocular penetration restriction" post? That was hilarious, by the way.

kario said...

Any physical therapist ought to have some suggestions for how to weigh down her legs a bit. It may be as simple as getting her some 'water shoes' that will weigh more when they're wet and allow her to walk along the bottom of the pool.

As for you, the hot tub in the freezing rain sounds terrific - a little like fresh, hot french fries in cold ketchup - yum!

sexy said...

情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,A片,A片,情色,A片,A片,情色,A片,A片,情趣用品,A片,情趣用品,A片,情趣用品,a片,情趣用品A片,A片,AV女優,色情,成人,做愛,情色,AIO,視訊聊天室,SEX,聊天室,自拍,AV,情色,成人,情色,aio,sex,成人,情色免費A片,美女視訊,情色交友,免費AV,色情網站,辣妹視訊,美女交友,色情影片,成人影片,成人網站,H漫,18成人,成人圖片,成人漫畫,情色網,日本A片,免費A片下載,性愛情色文學,色情A片,A片下載,色情遊戲,色情影片,色情聊天室,情色電影,免費視訊,免費視訊聊天,免費視訊聊天室,一葉情貼圖片區,情色視訊,免費成人影片,視訊交友,視訊聊天,言情小說,愛情小說,AV片,A漫,AVDVD,情色論壇,視訊美女,AV成人網,成人交友,成人電影,成人貼圖,成人小說,成人文章,成人圖片區,成人遊戲,愛情公寓,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色小說,成人論壇免費A片,AV女優,美女視訊,情色交友,色情網站,免費AV,辣妹視訊,美女交友,色情影片,成人網站,H漫,18成人,成人圖片,成人漫畫,成人影片,情色網A片,A片,A片下載,做愛,成人電影,.18成人,日本A片,情色小說,情色電影,成人影城,自拍,情色論壇,成人論壇,情色貼圖,情色,免費A片,成人,成人網站,成人圖片,AV女優,成人光碟,色情,色情影片,免費A片下載,SEX,AV,色情網站,本土自拍,性愛,成人影片,情色文學,成人文章,成人圖片區,成人貼圖