Friday, December 14, 2007

Nothing New To See Here, Move On...

I'm a life-long vague liberal with wishy-washy political stances. I fold in many places and find myself trapped often in the great expansive middle of an argument.

I'm also a rather frugal man in an occupation that is known more for breaking backs than making millionaires. I work with my hands, using tools, building useful things for other people.

Political columns and observations are not my calling. I like the big, physical movements one makes when swinging a two pound hammer into sixteen penny nails.

So when I watch a debate and it inspires me to sit quietly down and share my views, believe me, there is something compelling extant.

Something rather significant.

Something so big even, that I am moved to get up from my massage chair to write about it.

The liberal bunch lined out along the stage were such a nice bunch of political folk. As we watched them give their earnest answers, we felt comforted that there were people from the far distant arena called Washington D.C. that cared about us. We were soothed because they didn't fight amongst themselves. They didn't bicker and squabble. They were all competing for the prize of "most popular" on election day, and they were all pronouncing their promises in public- wearing big smiles- of how they were going to make our lives better.

The laundry list was way cool (and every candidates' website has a laundry list for you to look at).

It all sounded so, well, gosh darn promising!

But absent from the debate were two blaring thoughts that were not absent from my head. I sat in my massage chair, noticing these omissions, and vibrated.

The first one is one we all ask ourselves when we want something. "How are we going to pay for it?" Since nothing is free, we must assume that the politicians are going to require that We The People pay for these things. And if we do not benefit or agree with the promises they made, the choice is NO CHOICE AT ALL. We The People get served our requirement notices, and We The People comply. COMPLIANCE IS MANDATORY.

Suddenly, I started wondering if I was gonna get my money's worth? Complicit within this question is the other obvious one. If We The People are already IN DEBT, where is the extra money going to come from? Laundry lists can be quite expensive. Can we afford those new clothes?

Even a carpenter in a chair in a blissful state can see that there is trouble ahead. The debt we owe AS A PEOPLE to other nations would be awe-inspiring if it were not so shocking. You would think the debt would be the centerpiece for all things promised politically?

Well, We The People should think that.

The second question I ran through my mind was simple too.


"Why not somebody closer to my neighborhood? Somebody I know and respect? Somebody with a personal reputation and not a media image?"

I started imagining each and every one of them solving my problems for me. I have to admit, while I vibrated, I laughed. Which one would help me lose twenty pounds? Would it be Hillary? Would she come put a hand over my beer and tell me to go jog instead?

Which one was going to make sure I was educated? Was Bill Richardson going to come to my house and read me Voltaire?

Was John Edwards going to pick my supplements for me?

Was Dobbs going to solve the issue of my smelly feet?

How was Biden going to keep my hair follicles from giving up their roots and traveling down to the center of my back?

Could Obama help me find where I left my car keys?

If Dennis were there, I'd ask him about scoring hot babes.

If Gravel were there, I'd ask him to help pick out a tie for my Pops for Christmas.

You see. These are my problems. They are mine and they are free and they don't need doing by a large body far far away in a land called Washington D.C..

And while I agree that there are other things that need doing, and other problems that need fixing, I still gotta wonder "is the one-size-fits-all federal answers, fed by mandatory compliance, the best solution?"

I've been reading the Constitution lately. I've been watching all of the debates. There is this old guy, kind of sprightly and not too stately looking, named Ron Paul, who thinks the federal government is trying to do too much for me, and I think I agree with him.


liv said...

Did I miss the point of this? All I could think of was the mushy gushy feelings I was getting from thinking there is a man out there who could finish my oft lamented bathroom project that I, like a dumbass, started.

Billy said...

First, I think wishy washy is a fine stance. The founding fathers wanted a little flexibility, which is why I hate the term flip-flopper. The candidates who *don't* change their minds can't handle a changing world.

But by far I want to know how Dennis K. scored his trophy wife.

Jeannie said...

The "Who's gonna pay for it" issue is why I'm a conservative. They still have a safety net - it's just not big enough for everyone who doesn't feel like working.

The Liberals here spend all their time cat-calling the Conservatives and pointing fingers but never really get down to business.

Kris, Seattle said...

Geez. Let mum have the chair.

Happy Holidays stranger.

amusing said...

Damn you, Ron Paul!

You've stolen Scott away and all his stories of woohoohoo!

Ron Paul himself said...

Miss amusing:
While I understand your concern -- for certainly blogworld is feeling the absence of this gifted storyteller -- I would like to assure you that the loss is a temporary one. Mr. Simpson's perceptive observations and biting commentary are sparking important dialogue all over the United States about what this country needs in leadership and moral example.

I would encourage you to check out his writing at:

My staff and I -- well, the people of these United States -- appreciate the patience and understanding of the fans of AELEOPE during Mr. Simpson's temporary distraction.