Sunday, February 18, 2007

Don't Walk Through A Cemetary Unless You Can Whistle...

We have a cemetary less than a thousand yards from my house. It is one of those old and run down ones where stones have been moved by vandals and the only bright color is in plastic flowers that refuse to fade.

I went for a walk through there today and I must have caught a succubus or something.

It has taken over my blog.

It is dark and sinister.

It is pure, evil darkness up against the light. It has entered my brain like sound, and is drumming on my thoughts. It is bleak and hard to sit next to at Denny's. It is a real bummerful of memories I thought might be fun to tell about.

For the most part, I am a very chipper dude.

I figure, life is such a miracle that why not be happy it happened to you?

As short as our lives are, they are definately longer than, say, my dogs' lives or a frog's life (not counting those ones that sleep for fifty years and then wake up).

There is very little out there that is trying to kill me. My life will probably run its course, and that course should span over seventy years if all goes accordingly. That's pretty amazing, considering the odds of that actually happening. And it makes me happy that it is happening to me.

So I don't complain. Rough roads are just good ways to shake up your Margaritas before you drink them.

Painful memories are just wonderful reminders that MOST of life isn't painful at all.

Maladies are just good ways to learn a little anatomy.

Heartbreak is just a good indicator of how much you are capable of feeling.

I guess you can see that I am horrifically afflicted with a rational optimism.

Please don't hate me for this.

But like most lives that have spanned 44 years or more, I have had some rough patches. I have had some very dark moments, where I wasn't sure optimism had any place in the world at all.

Like most lives, I have crawled into the cold tile corner of despair, slunk down, and simply sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

Walking through that cemetary sort of reminded me of that fact.

We mark our time in granite with a chisel and a hammer.

BUT WHAT MARKS US?

20 comments:

Lizza said...

I guess none of us is immune to deep, dark despair. But I like (and envy) your outlook on the bad stuff.

And I think anything can mark us, if we let it.

CapricornCringe said...

I felt all happy and optimistic and sunshiney. Then I clicked on your blog and felt dark and gloomy and scary and cold. Weird, huh? :)

If I were being poetic, I would say tears mark us and pain shapes us. But I'm not feeling poetic today. I'm not even awake yet.

It's kind of funny how you can tease a smile out of me even when you're talking about DOOM and DESPAIR. I envy that ability :)

Bernita said...

What marks us?
Whiplash lines of fire and pain.

kario said...

I think I could have guessed that you had had some difficult moments. Most people with a wicked sense of humor have had a few, I've noticed.

As for me, I think we're marked by the people in our lives who happen to be around when we're most impressionable. They can be good or bad experiences, but they teach us how to react to things later in our lives. I'm glad you had someone around who taught you that unfailing optimism - the world needs more of that.

CSL said...

Ooh, very gloomy new look. I like it. Time marks us. And life. And all that. And I'm with you, I think, in being basically an optimist (sometimes absurdly so) with moments of despair.

Tammie Jean said...

I think what marks us are the things we allow to mark us. As a perpetual optimist, I choose to let love mark me deepest, and try to let any pain fade away (that's the hard part though).

meno said...

The words "realistic optomist" make no sense to me. Isn't that an oxymoron?

Esereth said...

Gotta say though, I love your rational optimism. Embrace pain so as to better embrace it's absence. I like that.

Scott from Oregon said...

meno-- Realistic optimism an oxymoron?

Not in my book.

I look at it this way--

Primordial soup... or...

Me.


I choose me and am astronomically thankful fate (of whatever kind) chose me too...

All the other "realistic" stuff pales to those two options.

HI ALL!

(back to work... woohoohoo!)

Stucco said...

Valium! Someone slipped you some valium. That's it. Or Nitrous Oxide...

I find it difficult to be chipper because I pay attention to the world news. No- I'm not serving up a slam on your chipperness. You're a happy doobie and good on you. I"m merely saying I'm not able to be such a happy doobie when I look around (the nation/world, I mean- my part of the world is really quite pretty and nice).

Jean said...

I think we are marked by everything and everyone in our lives. But, we have the choice to use the marks as excuses for our lives or, opportunities to learn from everything and appreciate our lives.

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
William Arthur Ward

Flat Coke and Flies said...

I'm gonna be nosey and ask...who is "We" you are talking about in the first line?

Now, tell us why you are so sad and dark all of a sudden?

Scott from Oregon said...

Well, missy. "We" is just Mum, her husband, and me, at the moment.


And if you were paying attention to the subtle clues, like "it would be fun..."

you would know that there is no real sadness surrounding me.

I was simply recollecting that my life has had some dark, dark, dark, moments and I figured I'd write about a few of them this week.

Wanna hear about them?

Stucco said...

Oh- and Judith might sue you for hoarking her spooky vibe theme.

Scott from Oregon said...

Judith has a spooky vibe theme going?

Really?

Who is Judith?

Stucco said...

Sorry- I could've sworn you were a visitor at Judith's page. I've got to stop huffing paint thinner...

Cheesy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheesy said...

We don't hate cuz of your rational optimism... We hate you cuz you're beautiful!

Sometimes cuffs mark me.....
hahah sorry I crack myself up sometimes....

slaghammer said...

“BUT WHAT MARKS US,” in my humble opinion, the same hammer and chisel with which we mark our own time. I was going to say lard and sugar, but I figured there’s no need to state the obvious.

it's the little things... said...

I've been through some tough times. But know others have been through tougher. I'm also an incredible optimist by nature. It happens biologically by simply refusing to accept the bad. Some call it self delusion. I prefer to be happy, and always anticipating the good that is around the corner.