Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Cold Cold Gnomic Prognostication



Winter will be here until it is gone. Then it will await its turn and return. I've seen it happen over and over so I am pretty sure I've got this winter thing down. The further north you go (in the northern half of the earth) the colder winter is and the shorter the days. While winter does not fairly distribute its freezing wrath according to any lines drawn by us human beings, it does do one thing. It gives us winter tales to share around a warm fire and a cup of cocoa and Kalhua.

So I thought I would pull a winter tale out of my past and tell you what has frozen in my memories. As I contemplate the white and fluffy stuff, I let the smell of cold and biting ozone run me back into the libraries of my unconscious, looking for a tale with some snow and ice and frosty breath in it.

HMMM...

Yes. Yes. I am getting something cold and bright and smelling of ozone...

--Ice By The Bucket Full--

The ice came in by the bucket full. Through the prismatic crystals a corona could be faintly seen. Its ring vaguely visible as I reach out my hand and try to circle it with my fingers.

It is upside down. Coronas have a sharp top and this is nowhere visible to me. It has to be upside down. If I pull it from this freezing, crystalline icy bed and twist it in my strong hands, the amber liquid will flow forth, pouring over my open mouth, quenching my parched appetite and renewing the senses.

Girls in bikinis will bob and slink before me.

Some will jiggle my way.

"What are you reading?" they will ask as I try not to talk to their bosom.

"An Artic Wilderness Survival Guide." I tell their bosom.

"Brrr..." says the girl. "That sounds cold!"

"It does." I say. "Want a Corona?"

"Can you open it for me?"

"I can."

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8 comments:

ammogirl said...

Cocoa and Kahlua...why have I not tried that?

I like Corona.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I like to put cinnamon or peppermint schnaps in my cocoa. I'll have to try the Kalhua.

Maggie said...

Is jiggling good?

I haven't had a nice Corona and lime in a long time. Though I relate that to summer more frequently.

Bean said...

I think it sounds like someone is indulging in a little escapism from the cold.

Personally I'll go the vanilla schnapps in my warm milk, thank you.

It's a bit mean to draw those girls in bikinis so close to the frosty gnomes you know.

Scott from Oregon said...

We got hit pretty good today with snow.

There is nothing like working in ski gloves and cutting lumber that has frozen completely through.

Brbrbrbrb!

Where's my corona?

Morgen said...

Love the pictures of the snowed-in gnomes!
We've had 3 ice storms in a row, and now are getting snow here in Michigan.
I'm here visiting as suggested by Nevins.

Little Miss Kylie said...

Here's a thought.

Why don't you go to University and become a doctor?? Then you can look at all the vaginas and boobs you want all day, almost every day.

slaghammer said...

Not many people know this but Coronas mixed with Tequila and stomach bile will etch concrete.