Elevating My Threshhold Of Pain To A New Level--

This isn't that recent, so yes, I am OK. This was a last year's booboo.

A nailgun capable of nailing together two by fours weighs about twelve or fifteen pounds. It has a small nose where you can aim it by placing the nose on the wood and pulling the trigger. If you drop it from ten feet up and it lands directly on its nose on your toe, your toe will look like this. This is a classic photo of the effect of a cause. You can't get much more classic than this. The cause-- a fifteen pound nailgun being knocked off of its ten foot high perch and landing, tiny nose first, directly on your toe. The effect-- is plainly seen here.

If you drop a transmission on your pinky, it will explode like an orange stepped on by an elephant. I have prood of that too, but I didn't take a picture. I superglued the whole thing back together instead. Did you know you have tiny bits of fat inside your fingers? I learned that one night on a cold garage floor. "Wow..." I said. "Look at that fat..."

If you have a piece of steel wire go in one side of your hand and not come out for quite sometime-- and I mean, like three inches later, you will have to get a pair of plyers and pull it out if you are by yourself and don't have a friend to pull it for you. That's a fact. You can eliminate infection if you take a new blade from your roofing knife and slit both ends open wide enough to allow for oozing. You can also continue working if you just wrap the whole thing in toilet paper and duct tape. The toilet paper acts as padding and an absorption material and the duct tape is like a semi-hard protective shell that keeps the toilet paper in place.

Taking a two-pound piece of steel and attaching it to a wooden handle to give you extra leverage and velocity and then striking your thumb with it so that it swells and needs lancing, and then lancing the nail and hitting it again with the same piece of steel on the same wooden handle, on a day where the tmperaure never rose above 35 degrees F., is a sure way to bring tears to ones eyes.

Taking a fourteen pound sledge hammer and driving it directly into your shin because it just happened to glance off of what you meant to really whack, will make you dance funny for a bit and unexplained expletives will scurry forth from your open mouth like rats out of a wet hole in a flood.

Being shot in the back by a sixteen penny nail gun that double-fired off of wooden framing and sent its second shot your way, hitting point first and sort of sticking there while you had no idea that such a rude event was about to occer, will make one flail like Joe Cocker at a microphone.

Odd isn't it?