Three From A Frothy-Lipped Genuflecting Guinness Drinking Genius

PeteS. tells us--
A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.The Texan says : "Takes me a whole day to drive from one side of my ranch to the other."The Kerry farmer says: "Ah sure, I know, sir. We have tractors like that over here too."


***The same Kerry man's wife was killed in an accident and the police were questioning him about it."Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant."She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Kerry man.


***The Kerry man and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon Airport."I've come to meet my brother," said the Kerry man. "He's due to fly in from America in an hour's time for me wife's funeral. It's his first trip home in forty years"."Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the American."I'm sure I won't," said the Kerry man, "after all, he's been away for a long time"."I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the American."Of course he will," said the Kerry man. "Sure I haven't been away at all".