Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Kickin' It But Still In Hot Water. Wakaru?

This is what I feel like. This is not what I look like. For that, you need to hit that other button. But if you wanted to know what I felt like tonight, this would be it. Just kickin' it without much at all on my mind.

I am like a baby Sumo waiting to wrestle.

"Moo, atsui mizu o kudasai..."


I wonder how my memory did?

I stayed with a family just outside of Tokyo for a few weeks, long ago. I had a spattering of Japanese under my belt, then, and not much responsibilities. If I helped their son with his English lessons, I was as welcome as a tub of chicken wings on Monday night during football season.

All I needed was some beer to go with me and I was a complete meal and a finger lick or two later. Did I hear ya say huh?

Due to my status as a guest, I was asked to take the first bath of the evening. For those of you who have never seen a Japanese bath at a home in Japan, it is a square box that holds your naked butt and hot water. You wash before you get in, then you soak. You share this water with the family and then you drain it.

So, again. You sit on a coffee can sized stool and fall off of it several times while you lather up with soap. Then you use what amounts to a shower massage unit mounted two feet from the ground. Once you have expertly cleaned every orifice, you rinse well and then step into a very hot tub. Never mind the color red that your skin is turning as you dip. It is natural for your skin to turn red when it is scalding. Just keep stepping in...

You'll get used to it.

Burning balls?

Just grab 'em and hold 'em. Keep stepping in. OK. Sit down and tell yourself that cooking is good for you.

(Makes ya have second thoughts about ordering lobster, don't it?)

One of the amusing things the Japanese realized about allowing me to go first, is that mass displaces water. The more massive you are, the more water is displaced. And that water has to go somewhere. When I would get into one of these little Japanese baths in the floor of a little Japanese bathroom, the water would get out. It would flow over the sides and into the floor drain and head on out to sea. I would be completely covered with scalding water during my wonderful bath experience, but when I got out--still protecting those balls with one hand-- there would be no water left.

I would find myself extremely clean and apologetic.

"Gomen nasai..."

It's not my fault you didn't design those things for me.

"Holy crap! You go last!"

"Yes. I think that's a good idea..." Posted by Picasa

1 comment:

Flat Coke and Flies said...

As I sit here typing away with the windows open and freezing my arse off I would love to take a dip into some of that water right now. I'm freezing!!

Thank goodness you "wash" before you "soak"!!